One Year On

The title says it all! The reason this post is on June 17th is because one year ago, I refurbished my website and posted my first post in this cool blog feature. It then spurred me to introduce #midweekthoughts, penning down my thoughts about things or issues that were and have been on my mind. One year on and I'd like to thank you for sticking by! Although, it feels longer than a year yet also too short that I'm going "What? It's already been a year?"

A lot has happened since June 2017, and I'm so thankful for every opportunity, every missed opportunity, the countless experiences, and all the people whom I crossed paths with and had the pleasure of working and/or interacting with. When midweekthoughts started, it was meant to share my thoughts and opinions with you, hopefully striking a chord or two that is relatable, or maybe even provoking some thought-processes in you. Many of these posts were written as a result of daily communication, self-reflection, and those rare late-night suppers I get nowadays. I really enjoy sharing sessions and feel that they are important because it always gives you a different insight or perspective, and I think this contributes to any kind of growth - whether musically or psychologically or in maturity.

And to those who have commented, liked, and sent me private messages about my posts, thank you so much! Truth be told, at times, it does feel like I'm writing to a wall and with all this, I'm also always thinking about the impact I'm bringing (if any), and wondering if any of this actually helps anyone at all! So it really means a lot to receive messages from friends, saying how much they enjoyed reading certain posts. Thank you for giving me your time to read my ramblings!

Remember the announcement I've been teasing? Here goes!

I've been thinking a lot about midweekthoughts - its impact and its usefulness - but I don't think my posts contain any high-quality thought-provoking issues. I feel that a lot of the writing isn't good and doesn't convey my thoughts well enough - as if I'm just vomiting words out, hoping to make sense. Of course, that is my shortcoming and I just have to work on it. But really, I'm not wise enough to write about all this. Just like how I mentioned about going through various maturity stages, I'm currently at the point where I think midweekthoughts isn't contributing as it should, and so have decided that to put it on an indefinite hiatus. After all, I did say that I didn't want to be a keyboard warrior again..

I guess it comes at a good time too, seeing that I'll become a living zombie for the next couple of months, changing diapers and going through night-feeds. I'm not sure when or if I'll write again, but if/when I do, I hope to be able to contribute in a more structured and sophisticated manner.

Again, thank you for all the support over the past 12 months, for reading my posts, liking and commenting on it! I hope you all continue to stay safe and be well! :)

Joachim

P.S. In the meantime, if you don't already follow me on Instagram, I recently created my Facebook Page and will be really appreciative if you could spare a moment to "Like" and share it with family and friends :) 

What Matters, Ultimately

I briefly touched on this a few weeks ago, but this week's entry is going to be an extension of your support group, particularly, your family. Depending on your age, your circumstance, or even life events, the word 'family' will have different meanings.

Growing up, I remember being very family-oriented, and having the most supportive parents I could ever ask for. My parents taught us how to be kind, patient, gentle, and of course how to share - we're a big family after all! Even in school, I'd look out for friends, waiting for them to have our recess breaks together to waiting outside the toilet, and that general selfless giving has always been around me. During my secondary school days, my friends and I would hang out after school and play some basketball, and we'd take turns to get bottled water for everyone, sometimes even 100plus or H2O. And if you look at us, we don't exactly look like the kindest of people, but I know that my friends have really big hearts - really goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover! Till today, they are some of my best friends and I cherish them for all the friendship, fun, laughter, sadness, and tears we have been through with each other.

I know - best friends and immediate family members are very different when put side-by-side, but who says friends can't be considered family? The only difference is that you can choose the former, but not the latter. Of course, that there are no two families that 'operate' in the same way I grew up. Some families are privileged and some aren't at all. Some families appear to be great role-models, but behind closed doors are far from it. Some may be struggling on a day-to-day basis, but have the most unbreakable family bonds. Then there are also other implications and issues that affects the family unit - single-parent families, kids whose parents are divorced, even parental/spousal abuse. And then there are entitled families.. no, people who think they are entitled - read this article. We all have a different notion of what 'family' means and some may even resent it in their current frame of mind. And while I wish that those who resent it can experience the love and warmth I have and am still receiving, I can't change any those circumstances. So instead, I turn inwards and start with my family.

Having grown up and being surrounded in lots of love and support, I aspire to do the same for my growing family, to be great role-models for them and to lead by example. I believe that love, care, and empathy, when shown to those around us (strangers included) make the world a better place and us, better people. And it really comes down to taking care of our lawn first before looking outwardly. Even while writing this, I think of the Pay It Forward movement and the love it can bring to people. We can choose our friends and people around us, but we can't choose our immediate family members. Still, we have the power and decision to the way we treat one another, and I hope 'Love' is the choice (but not to the point of harm as written in the article linked above). Because, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how much I work, how much I practice, how well I play, or how much I know - all of these don't matter in the grand scheme of things. Ultimately, my family matters most because they have gotten me to where I am now, and I intend to reciprocate that love shown to me.

I preempted an announcement last week, but here's announcing that the announcement will come out on June 17th - the next post for #midweekthoughts (even though it's the weekend hahaha). I would love to hear from you below or in private messages, and as always, be safe and well. Thanks for reading!

Joachim

Directions: Part II

If you haven't read Part I, please read it first! It'll probably give a bit more context for what's to come.

To recap, I wrote about directions and how they are necessary for the journey to our destination, and used practicing as something relatable to us (at least for musicians). But those are akin to taking a picture of a flower (micro) than of the entire plant (macro). And in this post, I'd like to write about the macro - Life itself. Having micro-directions in Life is great, but it must always be paired up with the macro.

True story: Lau Wen Rong, one of Singapore's top trumpet players, set his goal from young - he wanted to join the Singapore Symphony Orchestra. And I knew of this because when I met Wen Rong during my YST days, he would mention it to me every now and then. I always admired him for having such a firm goal and in 2017, he achieved it by joining the orchestra.

As a friend, I am super proud of his achievement! His dedication, hard work, and perseverance have led him to where he is now, and have allowed him to play and sound like the million bucks he is today.

So how do the micro and macro work in tandem?

If you read Part I, you'll know I mentioned that having a musical direction gives me something to strive for and to look forward to. But, the fact is that I also get occasional bouts of doubt and often, a sense of wandering. And these thoughts and feelings come in waves (at least for me). Coincidentally, they also feel like waves crashing on the shore of the beach, where you hear this natural lilt of the swishing and swooshing sounds, alternating between moments of chaos and excitement (where things get really busy and I'm always looking forward to the next project), and silence and reflection (where things are calmer and I suddenly feel lost, as though without a sense of purpose). I've felt this a couple of times over the past 2 years since returning from Peabody, but it was only recently through reflection and speaking about it with family and friends that made me realise why I was feeling this way - it was all because of the lack of direction in the macro.

Last year, I said that I wanted to be a versatile player, to be able to perform and satisfy the musical needs of my colleagues, friends, and peers. I still feel that way, but unfortunately, it's not a good enough direction if we talk about the macro. I am working towards that goal by practicing different instruments and expanding my skills, but it's different from setting a 'Life goal' of sorts. Kind of like a recent post I made, we should also ask ourselves "Where do I see myself in 5 years?" - and while it may seem trivial at first, this is actually an extremely important question to ask and reflect upon!

Taking Wen Rong's journey as an example, he knew his destination was the SSO, and so he made out his road map, planned out his directions, committed and executed the journey, and is now where he wants to be. Like him, I believe that we too, need to ask ourselves that macro question, which I've broken down to help:

• What is my destination? (Where do I see myself in 5 years? What do I see myself doing in 3 years?)
• How am I going to get to my destination? (What are my directions? What must I do in order to get there?)

After which, all that we have to do is to journey towards that destination, keeping our goals in our sights. We also have to bear in mind that everything comes with time, and we need the patience for things to develop, mature, grow, and ultimately blossom. I'm not saying that all will be smooth-sailing - in fact, it probably will not, but it is always more comforting and enduring to work towards a specific goal than to be adrift and ponder when that big break will come. 

Just like our thoughts and decisions, our direction is something only we can control. So take charge of your direction, and set them as your goals from here on out. For me, as of now, I will still need to do some soul-searching to figure it out. But I have a feeling that once I do, I'm going to make the most out of it. 

It wasn't easy writing this, especially since I'm laying my honest and intimate feelings. But in this day and age of social media and perfection, I think a little imperfection helps to keep us human. I hope you were able to take something out of this and hopefully, keep with you on your journey.. or at least make it more pleasant and meaningful. As always, thank you for taking the time to read! I'll be making an announcement soon but till then, stay safe and be well!

Joachim

Directions: Part I

Directions are always needed when we have to get from someplace to our point of destination, especially in unfamiliar territory, like travelling abroad. And now that we live in a world where Google or Apple Maps are readily available on our phones, it's extremely convenient to just whip them out and follow it. These directions take us on the journey - whether it's from home to your workplace, or from the park to a concert hall. And while this physical-ness is part of our daily lives, we also have other non-physical directions and destinations, like for careers, emotional states, etc.

As a musician, my musical direction gives me a sense of purpose and drive. It not only guides me along my path and trajectory which I plan out for myself, but helps me to work towards certain goals. And we can relate this to our every day physical directions and journeying. Two examples: learning something new and improving on something existing.

Learning something new can be seen like travelling to a new or unfamiliar place. Let's say we're going to a friend's new place, and we've never seen those roads before. We pull out Google maps and, whether it's by driving or public transport, get our directions. We have our destination and now, we know how to get there with directions. And that makes up the journey. Relating this to when I started practicing tambourine, my end-goal was to be able to play a certain technique (the destination). I knew I was going to get there through time and practice (the journey), but I also had to plan how to arrive there. So I wrote down a bunch of exercises I could use and do to reach that target (the directions).

Kind of making sense now?

The second example is very similar, except you could be working on something you already know. Think of it like you're heading to the mall or a nearby cafe - it's a familiar route but we can employ different variables by walking the longer way, or taking a short bus ride, or even driving down. It's been a while since I sat down to work on my drumset playing and I thought I should work on refining my foot technique (the destination). So I sought out different strategies (the directions) of practicing (the journey) to reach my goal.

It's very similar to being goal-oriented in the practice room, but also adjusting the mindset so that we figure out how to get there, rather than only saying "I want to get there" and going about aimlessly. Because while it's great that we can be specific and goal-oriented on what we want to achieve (like how I wanted to improve on my doubles), I think the 'how' is the most crucial component to getting there.

Thanks again for reading and I hope this post has been beneficial! Part II is dropping next week, and I'll discuss more on bigger picture stuff. Till then, be safe and well!

Joachim

Is The Grass Greener On The Other Side?

Being envious or jealous is very normal.. at least I think so! I am always amazed by friends and colleagues of the skills they possess and their ability to play and perform so effortlessly - to the point of jealousy, but not in a bad way! Think of it as admiration maybe, because I know that with time, patience, and a lot of hard work and effort, I could probably get there.. I hope hahaha. But that's another point for another day.

But as with everything, there are always 2 sides to the coin, and I feel that there are 2 types of jealousy. We have a positive-type of jealousy, sort of an admiration as I described earlier, and we have the negative-type of jealousy where the "if" scenarios are always playing - "If only I could play like that"; "If only I was rich"; "If only I had time" and the list goes on forever. Of course, it's great to let our minds wander and think about the "if only" possibilities we conjure in our make-up reality, because we can use that as goals or aspirations for the future. But more often than not, the negativity is always more alluring because no one loves self-pity more than ourselves.

Again, bad example but I'll use myself here.

As with all jobs and employment, there are pros and cons. Being a freelancer, I'm quite certain that most will agree, the greatest positive factor for us is the flexibility of our working schedules (to a certain extent). We're not bound to sitting at desks from 8am to 5pm every day, and every work day is different (for the most part). It keeps things fresh, new, and lively, and we can sort of look forward to work every day. (Sidetrack: Whenever, people ask me if I'm on off, I always joke that I have work days instead of off-days.) And of course, friends with the 8-to-5 jobs will be envious and say something like "man, I wish I could have your work schedule" or " you have it good, working whenever you want to". And while it may seem like we're having the time of our lives working odd hours (maybe only 2 to 3 hours a day, and then having the rest of the day's time for other things), our greatest fear is actually worrying about when that next pay cheque will come. So while these 8-to-5 people are jealous of our flexibility in working hours, freelancers on the other hand, are jealous of their very consistent (and sometimes fat) pay cheque.

And this is a real-life struggle! In our tiny island, we welcome financial stability with open arms, especially since costs are always rising. Many friends I've met and known through school are in day jobs, some even in fields non-music related. Some also have day jobs yet play at pubs or bars at nights because they enjoy it and have to make music part of their lives, but cannot commit to having a freelance-based schedule.

Of course it's going to be really tough and difficult! I often wish I could have a consistent and regular pay cheque (the negative-side of jealousy), but I also enjoy my working flexibility as I am able to spend time with family. Unfortunately, there isn't a middle ground where you can have the best of both worlds (minimum input, maximum output).. at least based on my experience as a freelancer. But I still do believe that working on the craft is the most important aspect. A close friend also mentioned this during a gig,

"Take care of the music, and the music will take care of business"

and it pushes me every day, to be open to new ideas and possibilities while also working hard, practicing and honing my craft. It also aligns with my beliefs on this post I made last year.

Jealousy can be both good and bad, and we need to know both for it to help us. Because while the grass always seems to be greener on the other side, I say take care of the grass on our side first and hopefully, with enough patience, we get to see the fruits of our labour..

...or maybe I'm just not a risk-taker to jump to the other side haha..

But what do you think? Let me know by writing below! I'll leave this here for some food for thought, and I hope you enjoyed reading this week's post. Thanks as always, and I hope you'll be safe and well.

Joachim

P.S. Here's something more light-hearted :)